Ok, today is a let's get real day... A fellow blogger asked me when I first started blogging what I wanted my blog to be based on, what I wanted the theme to be, well I really want this blog to be about encouragement for myself and others. A place where I can go and share God inspired thoughts and stories with my friends.
I also want it to be about honesty...SO today I need encouragement! I'm putting this out there in the hopes that some of you will see this and realize that you are not the only one with struggles and that together, with God's help, we can get through. My husband said something on Sunday that has stuck with me this week, "God does not want to hurt us". That's SO TRUE! I have gotten sucked in recently to being all about me and my struggles and what's making me sad but God does not want to hurt me, He wants to bless me. If I can stay there in my mind, I'm at ease but is that an easy place to stay? (Feel free to comment about that!)
I truly feel like the Hubbard house has been under attack, the enemy found a few windows for a sneak attack but we are shutting those windows! I'm sure some of you are curious as to what our struggles have been, well we've been dealing with the loss of our cat, Downy, who was in my life for about fifteen years. She was my girl! We all loved her very much. She was very sick for months before we had to put her to sleep but the last few weeks were awful. I'm sure some of you do not connect with animals and I understand that, but the Hubbard family does so this made for a very sad and emotional time at our house. Another BIG thing that we are dealing with right now is our infertility. I've never blogged about this but to sum our situation up, my husband and I have been trying to have another baby for a little over three years. We conceived our sweet Abigail with no trying at all, we were off birth control for three months, did what we needed to do :-) and Abigail came into the world thirty-seven weeks later. We are considered an "infertility mystery", on paper we should be able to have as many children as we want. For the last three years I've found comfort in God's plan being perfect and have said over and over that we want what God wants, it's true - we TOTALLY want what God wants. But to be honest with you, I haven't been able to find comfort in that for the past month or so. I've prayed all along that I would not be the girl who couldn't go to baby showers or be happy for friends and family that were expecting. I'm sad to report that I am kinda that girl right now. It's awful, I feel guilty for feeling this way. BUT I know that I am human and that those feelings are normal and ok to experience. I have prayed for and been there for girlfriends going through the same stage, I receive that it is ok and in my heart of hearts, I do trust that the Lord's plan is perfect. I haven't really been mad through this wait but I am in a bit of an irritated state right now. My poor hubby and daughter, they have been dealing with an ill wife/mommy recently. Please pray for me and my family!
SO... those are two big things I've been dealing with, a death and not getting my way. Very normal things for any of us to have to deal with. But it's hard isn't it?!?! Let's stop here for today, I'd love to hear what your struggles are and what helps you overcome.
The next post will be how I overcome... God is ABLE, I'll start with that!